Yesterday I ran into an old acquaintance/ friend. It's probably been 15 years since I've communicated with him and I was kind of caught off guard when he asked - - "How have you been doing?" Not having an hour to answer, I gave the usual "I'm fine... how bout you". I did not mention that personally I am doing great with abundant food, a warm home, steady income, lots of love etc.. He told me about a couple serious health problems he'd been working through and I offered him my two cents as his former healthcare provider.
I could tell from the Facebook posts I'd previously seen that he sees the world through a different set of filters than I do. Most of his posts revolve around the difference between"us" the people who think and look like him and those that don't. How can a person tell another that they can't buy into the working narrative that we're fundamentally different.
My daughter is struggling with the challenges of having a full time job which stretches through days and into nights while she's caring for two young children - one a special needs child. My wife flew out west yesterday to help her for a week - and I'm feeling a bit guilty for hanging back here in New York where I do volunteer work with the disabled - including veterans and the children of strangers. Though my daughter and her pre-schoolers are clearly my family, things get complicated when I try to discern where my family ends and someone else's begins. I've never been good at that.
A couple years ago I came across a quote to the effect - "a parent's never happier than their least happy child". What does one do if they can't draw a simple, arbitrary line between their biological children and others. Somebody tell me how in 2019 I am supposed to answer - "so how are you", when so many children and their parents are hurting so immeasurably?
